Life of a Foxy Siren

A few steps away from my apartment, holding my Woof and looking at the view.. a few tail waggings and a lick on my chin later, it hit me. I have forgotten how to live my life. 5 freaking years.. I have wasted 5 years.

When was the last time I brought Woof down for a walk? Or a trip to the beach?
Ok, well the reason I can't take him down is because its an apartment, I am not supposed to keep him! And after the tsunami thingy, I haven't been to the beach myself. But thats beside the point..

Woof ran to me happily wagging his tail, coming to me for a hug. The 5 mins out there standing made me feel so happy. There was this rush of contentment that washed over me, just that 5 mins. Why have I forgotten all the simple things that can make me smile? (I don't even need money for this!! Sod OT)

I spent my last 5 years in a frantic rush.
Rush to work, rush to gym, rush to read, rush to scrub the house clean, rush the shopping, rush to plan, just rush, rush, and more rush.

And yet:-
- Work was never finished. Yeah sure I get excellent reviews from bosses. Ppl look so highly upon me, I got promoted, earn more, I'm a star, a legend, the best. I spent 12 hours a day at work to deserve this. By the time I got off work, I'd be so tired all I wanna do is flop. I never want to hang out anymore, turning me into a cold anti social creature.

- The house was never clean enough. Work stresses me out. I resort to retail therapy. I buy and buy and buy, bankrupting myself thinking I'd be happy if I have that expensive bath oil, that posh looking mobile. The stuffs then became clutters.. and again clutters stresses me out coz I dont know where to store them anymore. (I have my own apartment, and am already hogging up the whole place). I'm asset rich but emotionally drained of happiness.

- My reading time never relaxes me. It is one of my favourite things to do, and yet it didn't soothe me. Why? What happen to those times where I laugh like a silly girl reading something funny? Brits humor, clumsy chicks etc? Why do I rush thru those beautiful words without capturing the essence of it?

This realization hit me hard on the head.. and heart too.
I've not listened to my heart for a while now. My head rules, rules and rules. Don't do something foolish. Don't do it if it doesn't do me any good. Sometimes my heart wants to leap and skip and dance. My head says no, don't freaking waste those time.

Well feck rushing. Sod climbing the career ladder. Screw the rat race.

I am throwing out my precious junks. (Already did some, and my.. I love the space!)
I will spend more time with Woof, just playing silly and pets.
I will read when i feel like it, laugh or cry, so be it.
I will reply to emails when I want, and if I dont feel like chatting, its just not your day.
I will look up the sky with seas of stars, with my steaming cup of tea and make wishes, silly or not.
I will cook even though I know I'm lazy to most of the time.
I will blog too (haha, sarcastic witch!!)

That said, I really feel so much better now.. so relieved.
Its about time I do what I'm supposed to do - just LIVE.

I wish the same for you too.

<3 Love my Woof! <3